5 Reasons Why You Do Not Achieve Your New Year’s Resolutions

Do you have the habit of making New Year's resolutions at the beginning of each year? How many of these resolutions did you achieve completely or at least partially? Were there resolutions you did not start to act upon? Or were there resolutions you gave up pursuing after a few weeks? How many times have you made the same resolutions over and over without achieving them? 

Achievements are one of the five pillars of happiness at work and in life, according to Martin Seligman's PERMA model (Positive emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Achievements). If you have a long series of unachieved or unaccomplished wishes or intentions, the feelings of dissatisfaction, unfulfillment and even unworthiness will chip away at your happiness.

If you have unachieved and recurring New Year's resolutions, please don't start beating yourself up for being too weak and unmotivated to achieve your dreams. You are just like most people, because New Year's resolutions, if they are not taken further to be transformed into goals and underpinned by a plan, systems and habits, cannot be achieved. They belong more to the realm of wishful thinking.   

Here are five common reasons people cannot achieve their New Year's resolutions: 

1. New Year's resolutions are too general and volatile.

Usually, they are wishes or express a will, such as "I would like/want to get a new job/earn more money". They do not have the five characteristics of SMART goals. They are not measurable and do not give a sense of urgency to take action on them. Plus, resolutions are usually made with a glass of drink in hand and in an atmosphere of celebration. Often, they remain only at the level of thoughts and are not formulated in written form. As a result, they are usually forgotten in a few weeks.

Did you know that January 9th is known as Quitters' Day because, by this date, the enthusiasm and motivation for a newly made resolution or set goal often fade away if certain actions are not taken to develop the necessary habits and take consistent actions to achieve it. 

2. New Year's resolutions can have a negative connotation.

They often express something you want to get away from instead of something you want to achieve. For example, leaving your present job or the place where you live, quitting a bad habit, or losing weight. There is no direction in such resolutions. They do not point out where you want to arrive; they show only what you are dissatisfied with now.

This type of resolution expresses something, a situation, habit, condition, circumstance, etc., you want to leave behind, give up, get away from or escape. This implies that it is not good for you, or you don't like it. On the other hand, you are accustomed to it; it is a part of your daily life, has become a habit and is in your comfort zone, which makes it more difficult to quit or change. This may also imply that you are judging yourself for what you are and have been, what you did, how you behaved, etc. You want to change yourself because you are not good enough. These implications may generate negative emotions, such as fear, unworthiness, doubt or frustration.

The resolutions might also contain negative words that are the source of negative feelings, suggest the difficulty of the process or imply that you are not good enough now. You will hear your inner voice saying, "It is too difficult" or "You will never succeed", etc. This voice will be more powerful if you set the resolution several times in previous years without achieving it. This voice, combined with the power of your habits and comfort zone, will make you give up even before you really begin to take action.

3. The situation you want to change has some secondary or hidden positive effects and benefits for you.

It might seem absurd, but if a negative situation is perpetuated for a long time, your subconscious mind likely perceives some benefits from it.

For example, you hate your job and want to change jobs, but keep procrastinating the job search because you already know your workplace, colleagues and boss, your tasks are familiar, and the job feels safe and comfortable. These secondary benefits of safety and comfort subconsciously stop you from taking action towards something unknown and uncertain, which is outside your comfort zone.

Ask yourself daily for a few weeks: "What are the hidden benefits I cherish and do not want to give up in this situation?" After a while, the answer will pop up in your mind. When this happens, your task is to find a new, more beneficial way to fulfil that need or find a benefit which is of at least equal value to you.

4. You have limiting beliefs regarding the implementation and achievement of your resolution.

Limiting beliefsinfluence your determination, stamina, behaviours, actions and the results you get. If you think you are too old to achieve something, guess what? Most likely, you will never achieve it; if you do, it will require a lot of hard work, stress and side tracks, and you will hardly experience any joy, satisfaction and fulfilment throughout the journey.

Your negative self-talk is a result of your limiting beliefs and a reflection of them. At the same time, it reinforces your limiting beliefs. Actually, analysing your self-talk is one of the ways to discover your hidden limiting beliefs. Changing your self-talk helps you to clear the limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering ones.

5. Your resolutions may not integrate harmoniously; they could even work against each other.

Resolutionsare scattered wishes without a clear relation to your life purpose and vision.If you do not integrate what you want to achieve into a greater image of your future life, your motivation will fade and disappear after the first steps or at the first hurdles. Your unconscious mind will perceive the contradictions (i.e. you want a job with more responsibility and a higher salary, but you believe this would mean working longer hours that affect your family life).

Create your personal strategy by establishing your core values, life purpose and vision, long-term goals and a plan to achieve them. erm and short-term goals. Having a greater picture of your desired life makes it easier to harmonise your goals. When you connect your goals to your purpose and vision, it is easier to stay motivated and committed to taking action, even amidst challenges.

What's your next step? Clarify your core values that will guide your decisions, behaviours and actions. Establish your life purpose and create a long-term vision for your life. Embed your professional life and its desired results into this vision and relate them to your purpose. Break down your vision into long-term goals, then into short-term goals. Make a detailed plan to achieve them and start taking action while also working on your mindset and improving your skills and habits. 

If you need help in this process, book a complimentary 30-minute Clarity Call to assess your present situation and see how I can support you in creating a more joyful and successful life.