Don't Let Passion for Work Destroy Your Life and Happiness

The title might sound strange because self-help books and motivational quotes teach you that if you make your passion your work, you will never have to work a day in your life. Being passionate about your job or work may have positive effects, such as higher motivation, productivity, engagement and better results. However, passion for your work can negatively influence other aspects of your life, your happiness or even your career in the long run. When you are dissatisfied with your work, it is often not a passion problem; it is more a mindset, attitude or meaning issue.  

If you have only one passion in life … and you pursue it to the exclusion of all other things, this becomes dangerous…
Eric Cantona, former professional football player

The word passion comes from the Latin "passio" meaning suffering and derived from the verb "patior" meaning "to suffer". Therefore, the original emotion associated with passion was negative. Philosophers such as Plato and Spinoza believed people with passion experienced some suffering because they were slaves to their passion controlling them. When this kind of passion is felt for work, besides the positive results such as productivity and success, negative effects will also surface, especially in the longer term.

During the last two decades, several studies have been carried out concerning passion at work. The "dualistic model of passion at work" was developed by Robert J. Vallerand, Professor of Psychology at the Université du Québec à Montréal and collaborators as a result of such studies. In their book "Passion for Work: Theory, Research, and Applications" they define passion as

"a strong inclination toward a specific object, activity, concept or person that one loves (or at least strongly likes), highly values, invests time and energy on a regular basis, and that is part of one's identity."

The dualistic model of passion identifies the existence of two distinct types of passion leading to opposite outcomes:

1. Harmonious passion
2. Obsessive passion

1. Harmonious Passion

Harmonious passion is the beneficial type of passion at work that results from an autonomous internalisation, where people feel in control of their passion. This occurs when individuals engage in their work willingly, because they enjoy it, find it meaningful, and have control over their activities and how they feel about them. They feel a sense of alignment between their work and personal goals.

People with harmonious work passion have often chosen their career because it is something which interests them, and they gain great pleasure from how they earn a living. Crucially, the work does not profoundly interfere with other important elements of their life.
Robert J. Vallerand and al.

In the case of harmonious passion, work activities integrate into the authentic self because they are highly valued. The focus is on mastering oneself and improving skills rather than controlling what others do. Different areas of life and interests function harmoniously for the flourishing and growth of the person. For these persons partaking in the work process is rewarding and viewed as an opportunity to explore more about oneself. Stepping away from those activities, if required, happens without feelings of regret or guilt. If the person cannot pursue his/her passion at work it does not perceive it as an important source of frustration, because he/she has passions to pursue in other areas of life. Harmonious passion is linked to the flow state which occurs when one is immersed in a task for the pleasure of engaging in the task or related behaviour with effortless concentration while losing a sense of self. Those with harmonious passion can remain flexible, mindful, and open to new sources of satisfaction and joy, even if they enjoy and love their work.

For these reasons, harmonious passion is life-enriching and not threatening to the other aspects of your life. It reinforces psychological functioning, well-being, growth, satisfaction, favourable relationships, and positive emotions.

For example, any professional experiencing harmonious passion for their work will engage with joy and energy in their professional activities and, when necessary, will dedicate additional time to it without forgetting that they are more than only the work they do and life has other aspects too. They will be able to have a rewarding family life, engage in activities with family and friends and pursue other passions outside work.  

2. Obsessive Passion

Obsessive passion means a person has little control over their relationship with their job and passion. They consider their occupation, and related factors such as promotions and pay raises, to be central to their lives. They are obsessed with or relentlessly pursuing their unique passion: their work or its results. In this way, work overpowers the passionate person who has lost the sense of self-control and becomes addicted to the activity. The same can be true for the power, status, fame, etc. deriving from work. When these persons do not work, they might experience guilt or shame. In the long term, there is a high risk of burnout. These persons rely on the activity they are passionate about and its results to experience self-esteem and self-worth. To experience these feelings, they need external recognition of their work and results.

The obsessively passionate rarely disengage completely from their jobs, and even though they might be very successful at what they do, this often comes without a sense of satisfaction. Such an approach can take over lives, and lead to burnout, when you are physically and emotionally exhausted, and feel helpless and trapped.
Robert J. Vallerand and al.

Obsessive passionate persons are usually quite rigid about their work-related activities. They find it difficult to adapt to new conditions or step away from an activity when it conflicts with their lives or relationships. They are workaholics who cannot go on a holiday or get some time off. When they do so, they cannot disengage from work and relax. They are not clear about who they are outside their work.

Obsessive passion can have positive results at work and in career but the person's life is completely unbalanced and work is in its centre. In the short term, it can lead to high performance and important results, career progression and an increase in income.

Obsessive passion is all-consuming. It controls the individual rather than the individual controlling the passion and interferes with the balanced and normal functioning of other aspects of life and roles. Family life, relationships in general, and the health and well-being of the person usually suffer due to their passion for work. 

How can you ensure a successful career and a harmonious, happy life? 

• Recognise and acknowledge your feelings for your work. How do you approach your work? Is it the centre of your life? Do you allow yourself to relax and have time off from work? What type of passion do you have for your work? What harmonious and obsessive passion traits do you recognise in your relationships to work? What can you change to eliminate obsessive passion elements? What limiting beliefs or fears can you find behind these traits or behaviours? Eliminate your limiting beliefs and overcome your fears. Change negative behaviours.

• When you look for a job or want to change careers ask yourself the right questions. Instead of asking yourself "How can I find a job or career I'm passionate about?" answer the question "How can my job, career or work support my passion?" Be clear about your passions and how to pursue them outside your work. See the relationship between pursuing your passion outside work and your work supporting it. For example, work provides the financial resources, the time, etc. to pursue your passion. If you decide to pursue your passion outside work, ask yourself: "What should I look for in my job?"; "Will this job give me the resources such as time, money, and energy to pursue my passions?"
• Look at the industries or jobs that would allow you to follow your passion and analyse the positive and negative aspects of working in that industry. Do the positive aspects harmonise or conflict with your other goals for different areas of life? How can you cope with the negative aspects? How would they influence the other areas of your life? If the negative influences are predominant, it is better to pursue your passion outside work and look for a job that you are good at, it is meaningful for you and you enjoy performing most of the tasks. Assess if this job can provide the necessary resources to pursue your passion outside work.
• Before you decide to change jobs or careers or become an entrepreneur, create your personal strategy by establishing your core values, life purpose and vision and long-term goals for different areas of life. Harmonise your professional or work-related vision with your life purpose, vision and values. Look at the relationship between your work and life purpose. Your job or career doesn't need to align with your purpose but it is important to see the relationship between your work and life purpose. For example, your work can provide the means and resources to follow your passion outside work and live your purpose within your family, through volunteering, supporting a cause, etc.
• Find meaning in your work. Relating your work to your purpose is one way to achieve this. Look at the final results of your work or the higher-level contribution to society or a community as a part of the bigger picture. For example, if you work in an administrative department of a health establishment your work still supports the health care service. If you sell tickets at a theatre or cinema, you contribute to entertaining people.
• Make changes in the content of your work. Talk to your boss about possible changes in the content of your job. Ask to take part in projects. If you are an entrepreneur or a manager outsourcing or delegating certain tasks can be an effective solution to increase the percentage of tasks you enjoy performing.
• Change your attitude toward work. Look for the good parts of your work, for example, tasks you enjoy and feel fulfilled when you work on them or results that have meaning to you. Accept that there will always be tasks you do not like but are necessary to achieve the expected result. Try to make them more enjoyable. Practice work-related gratitude. Be present and focus on the task you are working on. Delegate or outsource if possible (for example, if you are a manager or entrepreneur).
• Find and clear your job or work-related limiting beliefs and replace them with new, positive and empowering beliefs. 

Sources:

1. ***How Important Is It to Be Passionate About Work?, Biospace, 28.03.2018
2. Anna Sverdlik Ph.D. Don't Believe Everything You Hear About Passion, Psychology Today, 09.07.2024
3. Jessica I. Morales: Two Types of Passion: Harmonious vs. Obsessive - Can Passion Cost You?, Psychology Today, 08.08.2020
4. Johanna Leggatt: Your Job Doesn't Have to Be Your Passion. Good Enough Is OK, 05.02.2022
5. Lauren C. Howe, Jon M. Jachimowicz, Jochen I. Menges: Your Job Doesn't Have to Be Your Passion, 04.06.2021
6. Robert J. Vallerand (Editor), Nathalie Houlfort (Editor): Passion for Work: Theory, Research, and Applications, Oxford University Press, 2019
7. Taha Yasseri: Passionate about Your Job? Here's Why That Might Not Be Good for You, 17.02.2022