How Do You Sabotage Your Happiness?

If about 40% of our happiness depends on our intentional actions, by changing how we behave and take action, we can considerably increase our level of happiness. However, this is easier said than done. Several internal factors can block us from changing our behaviour and actions and intentionally choosing those that further our happiness.

What are the five most common internal factors hindering your happiness and success at work and in life? What can you do to make change easier?  

You sabotage your happiness due to a series of unconscious internal factors or blocks that influence your behaviours and actions, and responses to the circumstances and challenges of the environment. The good news is that you can eliminate, release or change these internal factors with conscious effort and regular practice. When you manage these factors, you'll adopt different behaviours and actions, choosing intentionally those that further your happiness and success.    

Let's look at five of the most powerful internal blocks that make you operate on autopilot, repeating the same type of decisions, behaviours and actions that created your present situation, made you dissatisfied and unfulfilled and robbed you of your joy and happiness.   

1. Your limiting beliefs are deeply engraved in your subconscious mind, and you often are not even aware of them. Your willpower, based on your conscious mind, is usually not powerful enough to counterbalance your limiting beliefs for a long period. Your subconscious mind is the underwater 90% of the iceberg and controls and influences your life through your decisions, behaviour, actions and habits. To achieve long-term changes, you must clear your limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering ones. Of course, strong willpower can help you achieve some success, but it will require a lot of energy. If you believe that circumstances determine your happiness (one of the most harmful happiness myths), you might act differently for a while, but if you don't see instant results, you will give up and conclude that you were right in believing that you are powerless in front of circumstances. When you clear this limiting belief, you feel in control of your life and happiness and will be more persistent in your new behaviour or action until you see positive effects. If you believe that circumstances define your happiness, you will be a job-hopper. When you feel unhappy at work, you will look for a new job. But as long as you don't work on the root causes of your unhappiness, you will start feeling unhappy in the new job soon.
2. Your self-talk or inner chatter is a powerful way of forming your belief system and determining your mood and attitude. If your self-talk is negative, it will affect your mood and attitude, action-taking ability, consistency, relationship building, self-confidence and happiness. Negative self-talk plants new limiting beliefs in your subconscious mind and reinforces existing ones. You can talk yourself into dissatisfaction and feeling miserable, even if most of the aspects of your work or life are fine, but you keep focusing on the few negative aspects.
3. Your habits are formed by repeating the same actions until they become automatic, and your subconscious mind takes over the reins. For example, you perform the same activities in the same order each morning. You don't even think about them. If your repetitive actions are productive, they save you time in the morning. Habits can have positive effects and increase your productivity. But habits can also hinder your productivity, success and happiness. For example, if your habit is to stop the alarm in the morning and sleep 10-15 minutes more, you might often be late for work or a meeting. Even if you are on time, you will arrive stressed because of the morning rush. Being late will make you stressed, and you'll start the day in a bad mood. If you also have the habit of complaining and blaming others or the circumstances, you'll blame the traffic for your stress and bad mood. In this way, you won't even look at the root cause of starting your morning already stressed, because you have found something to blame. Morning stress will affect your mood, behaviour, creativity and decision-making during the day.
4. Your fears stop you from stepping out of your comfort zone and taking action in certain situations or embracing something new, such as speaking up at a meeting and putting forward solutions, talking to your manager about what makes you unhappy and offering a solution to it, getting involved in new projects, learning new skills and growing professionally, etc. These behaviours, repeated during a longer period, will reduce your satisfaction and joy at work, and make any feeling of fulfilment impossible. If you do not learn to deal with these fears, even if you change jobs, very likely you'll find yourself in a similar situation of dissatisfaction and professional unfulfillment after a while.
5. Your expectations can affect your achievements by putting blinders on your eyes. If you expect something to unfold in a certain way, you will be so focused on this way of doing things or a result showing up in a certain way that you will not see the opportunities life puts into your way to achieve your goals. When you don't achieve your goals, you'll be dissatisfied, and this will affect your happiness. When you are free of expectations, your mind is open and receptive to the opportunities that show up, and you will be able to notice these opportunities and act accordingly (if you are ready to step out of your comfort zone). 

These five internal factors or blocks are often connected. The common point is usually your beliefs. They influence your inner talk and expectations and fuel your fears. Sometimes, they can also be the root cause of your habits. You can start the change process by addressing your limiting beliefs and the habits that hold you back from making decisions and taking intentional actions that make you happier. 

Are you ready to discover what stops you from experiencing more happiness at work?

Book a 30-minute free facilitation session and start training yourself for more happiness at work. (3 places available for August.)